About Us
The Launch
Mars was chosen for our destination based on waterproof argument: Dallas is a city firmly embedded in the Lone Star State. Mars is a planet firmly embedded in the orbit around a lone star. Makes sense, right? No? Well maybe to you it doesn't – it's often like that with visionary ideas. After all, Mars is a pretty desolate place, and sometimes leading the market goes hand in hand with being the only choice around.
We run a tight shift from our mission control in Dallas, Texas. Our aim is to provide benefit for our clients, and to do so we make sure that the space is sparkling clean when we're done. We can even make the most stubborn musk go away in seconds! Lightning fast.
That's the company motto; and believe us when we say – the successful culture we created is based around drilling these values into our employees' software implants.
Our History
Mars Maids was established in the late thirties, landing its founding crew with the third colony ship, "Perseverance." We did have several employees come with the ill-fated first ship, "Optimism," but… well, it's in the textbooks now, isn't it? Distant past. Please note that if you ever go trekking on the slopes of Olympus Mons, we won't reimburse you for any cleaning devices you might unmars.
After a somewhat rocky start, we soon hit our stride and were able to transfer more people and goods on subsequent flights. We quickly adjusted to globular ceilings and various tubing appliances, while our patented vacuum sensor proved especially valuable when locating and removing pesky red dust from tight spaces.
Our Mission
We offer top of the line housecleaning services for accredited citizens, as well as commercial and carpet cleaning for off-world traders. Note for colonists: if you're from Phobos or Deimos, please don't refer to yourself as "The Moon People." Thank you.
Our focus is on clear communication between crew and customers. Our maids are dedicated to keeping your modular habitat safe and clean, and we know the value employees have when operating a successful business.
Here are the core tenets keeping us in orbit:
- Corporate accountability and individual integrity
- Tried and tested policies and procedures
- Emphasis on communication: if your living quarters suddenly depressurize, we'll be the first to know
- Adherence to Martian law - O'hail God Emperor Elon Must!
- Strive for innovation
- Constant maintenance cycles – including regular Android updates
- Relentless attention to detail
Our staff is highly specialized, yet able to provide & receive cross-training when needed: they are completely fearless – provided you opt for our new Robo-Maid offer. The customer service is available to address any requests you might have and uphold our RED-putation. Finally, our operational capacities are designed to be highly flexible, making adjustments when needed to ensure the landing gear works fine. Uh, the cleaning gear, that's right, scratch that – or don't, it will leave a mark. Let us deal with it.
